As we welcome the New Year, many of us feel inspired to adopt new habits that enhance our well-being. While the enthusiasm to initiate change is commendable, it’s essential to approach habit formation with kindness and self-compassion. This gentle approach not only fosters sustainable growth but also enriches our journey toward self-improvement.
Earlier this year, I finally cracked the code on building a consistent skincare routine—a habit I’d struggled with for years. It didn’t involve expensive products or a complicated process, but rather a simple strategy that transformed my evening routine into a moment of self-care and presence. Curious about how I made it stick? Read on to discover the mindful and self-compassionate techniques that helped me succeed and how you can apply them to any new habit you’re hoping to form.
Understanding habit formation
James Clear, in his insightful book Atomic Habits, emphasises that habits are the compound interest of self-improvement. He suggests that small, consistent actions accumulate over time, leading to significant transformations. Clear introduces the concept of the ‘habit loop’, which consists of a cue, craving, response, and reward. By understanding and intentionally designing this loop, we can cultivate habits that align with our goals.
It’s important to recognise that the brain is wired to favour routines because they conserve energy. Forming a new habit requires deliberate effort at first, as the brain hasn’t yet established a reliable pattern. The initial stages often feel uncomfortable or inconvenient, which is why many attempts at creating new habits, like my skincare routine, can fall through. However, once a behaviour is repeated enough, it transitions into an automatic response, making it easier to maintain over time. This is why starting small and celebrating incremental progress is so effective: each small success reinforces the habit loop, helping it stick.
By approaching habit formation with this understanding, we give ourselves permission to start where we are, with realistic and manageable steps. Whether it’s adopting a self-care routine, beginning a journaling practice, or committing to daily meditation, acknowledging that discomfort is part of the process can help us stay the course. And when we treat setbacks with self-compassion, we build the resilience needed to keep moving forward.
A personal story: My skincare journey
Earlier this year, I realised it was time to give my skincare routine the attention it truly deserved. By April, I had noticed just how neglected and dry my skin had become. As a busy mum, entrepreneur, and Master’s student, it had been all too easy to let self-care fall by the wayside. But I knew it was time to make a change.
I’d tried to establish this habit a few times in the past, investing in expensive day and night creams, but I never managed to make it stick. The unused products sitting on my bathroom shelf became reminders of failed attempts and wasted money, which only added to my reluctance to try again. This time, however, I took a different approach. I decided to start with a couple of inexpensive face creams so that if things didn’t work out, at least I wouldn’t feel like I was ‘losing’ a major investment. Because the financial risk felt minimal, I was more willing to give it another shot.
To build a sustainable habit, I paired my end-of-day skincare routine with something I was already doing consistently: brushing my teeth. Each evening, brushing my teeth became the cue to follow through with caring for my skin. I kept things simple at first, and as I began to see results and experience the joy of nurturing myself, I felt motivated to continue. Over time, I rewarded my progress by gradually upgrading my routine, adding new creams, serums, and even a jade roller to make the experience more 'luxurious'.
What began as a low-stakes experiment evolved into a cherished ritual—a moment of connection with myself, a time to slow down, be present, and wind down from the day. It reminded me that even amidst a busy life, there’s always space to nurture and honour ourselves.
You can also transform your skincare regimen into a mindful ritual. As you cleanse and nourish your skin, take time to appreciate the textures and enjoy the scents. This practice can turn a simple skincare routine into a moment of self-connection and presence, even on the busiest days. It’s about slowing down and caring for yourself intentionally ✨
Practical tips for building new habits
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The role of mindfulness and self-compassion in habit creation
Embarking on new habits can be challenging, and setbacks are a natural part of the process. This is where the practices of mindfulness and self-compassion become invaluable. Mindfulness involves being present and fully engaged in our current experience with kindness, and it allows us to observe our thoughts, emotions, physical sensations, and behaviours without judgement. By cultivating this awareness, we can better identify patterns that either support or hinder our progress and make intentional choices that align with our goals.
At the same time, self-compassion—treating ourselves with the same kindness we would offer a friend facing similar struggles—helps us to navigate the ups and downs of habit formation with greater resilience. Dr. Kristin Neff, a leading researcher in this field, outlines three core components of self-compassion: self-kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness. By embracing these elements, we acknowledge that everyone encounters setbacks and that our imperfections are part of the shared human experience.
Together, mindfulness and self-compassion create a nurturing environment for sustainable habit change. Instead of criticising ourselves for perceived failures, we learn to respond with gentleness and curiosity. This supportive mindset not only enhances our overall well-being but also increases the likelihood of sticking with new habits over time, making the journey of personal growth a more compassionate and fulfilling experience.
Incorporating self-care practices
Integrating self-care routines into our daily lives can significantly enhance our overall well-being. Below are some suggestions to consider, but remember, these ideas are meant to inspire you, not overwhelm you. Feel free to incorporate only what resonates with you and aligns with your lifestyle.
Cold showers 🚿 Adding a burst of cold water to the end of your shower can be incredibly refreshing. Since mid-August, I’ve been experimenting with this each morning, and I’ve found that it makes me feel more awake and alert, especially on those early mornings. Even a brief cold shower can invigorate your body, elevate your mood, and provide a revitalising start to your day.
Movement 💃 Let’s reframe ‘exercise’ as ‘movement.’ By removing the pressure of traditional workouts, we can explore various forms of movement that feel joyful and accessible. Trying yoga, going for a walk, dancing around your living room, or experimenting with Qigong or Tai Chi for gentle, flowing movements. The key is to find something you genuinely enjoy, as regular movement can uplift your mood, increase your energy levels, and improve your overall health.
Reading 📚 Set aside time for reading, whether it’s an inspiring novel, a thought-provoking physical book, or an e-book. Reading can be a calming and enriching experience, nurturing your mind and sparking creativity. Even if you only read one page a day, it can become a fulfilling part of your routine. Choose books that excite or inspire you, and let yourself be transported into their worlds.
Journaling 📝 Take a few minutes each day to reflect on your thoughts, emotions, and experiences. This could mean writing about your day, processing your feelings, or ending with a gratitude practice. Listing things you’re grateful for can shift your focus to the positive, promoting a sense of peace and contentment. Journaling can be a powerful tool for self-discovery and emotional balance.
Meditation 🧘♀️ Being still and in silence can feel daunting at first, but it doesn’t have to be complicated. Start with just a few minutes, focusing on your breath or an anchor to the present moment, like the feeling of the feet on the ground. If your mind wanders, gently bring your focus back without judgement—it’s all part of the practice. Experiment with different practices, such as a body scan or a loving-kindness meditation, to see what resonates most. Remember, consistency is more important than duration, so aim to make it a regular part of your routine. Check out my guided meditation audios here.
Embracing the journey
Thinking about adding meditation to your daily routine to cultivate mindfulness and reduce stress? Creating a sustainable habit is often easier with the right guidance and support. My Mindfulness for well-being live, online course via Zoom offers an eight-week experience designed to help you build consistency while connecting with a like-minded community. Starting in the first week of February, this course will set you up to begin the New Year feeling grounded, resilient, and equipped with mindfulness practices to navigate life’s challenges
As you embark on your path to cultivating new habits, remember to approach each step with mindfulness and self-compassion. Embracing the process, honouring your progress, and being gentle with yourself. After all, the journey toward self-improvement is just as meaningful as the destination. If this feels like the right time to prioritise your well-being, I’d be honoured to support you along the way.
With love and presence,
Pili
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